


Five Moments Eric Delko lost something when he made the wrong choice

by Raven_mcbain



Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: Betrayal, Episode Related, F/M, M/M, One Kiss, Slightly short, canon character death, mostly pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-30 01:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_mcbain/pseuds/Raven_mcbain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five moments in Eric's life where he screwed up a relationship by not speaking up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Moments Eric Delko lost something when he made the wrong choice

Looking back Eric could always pinpoint the moment Megan chose to leave. At the time it had gone by him without any notice or thought. It hadn't seemed like a particularly special moment, mostly because he hadn't known anything was wrong. So when Horatio told them she was gone he was shocked! He had thought they had been building up to something. Obviously it had to go slowly, she was still greiveing her husband but with each case they worked together they had grown closer. It had taken him awhile before he had pinpointed the moment where he should have said something, told her something. He remembered when she may as well have told him she was leaving and practically asked her to convince her to stay. It was after they had finished the case about the romantic who had got himself stuck in his car trunk underwater. They had been talking about the dream trip the guy had been planning for him and his girlfriend and the romance of it and she had waited. That was the moment, which he let pass and therefore that was the last time he saw her. 

He would never be able to let go of Speed. It was impossible! How do you let go of something you never allowed yourself to have. How could he let go of all the wants and fears and hopes and dreams that he had, the lost chances. They had been spending their vacation together. They had been laughing together over something when Speed had leaned over and kissed him. He had pulled away, spitting vile words and lies at his best friend when all he wanted to do was kiss him back. He had stormed out. They got called to the boat crash two days later and a matter of hours after that Speed was dead. He never got to apologize or explain or correct his mistake. In that moment he had said goodbye to Speed and he would do anything to have that moment back.

 

They kept making and breaking the same shakey truce, they even lapsed into friendship at times but Ryan would never trust him and Eric couldn't blame him not after the way he had been. He had honestly tried at first to accept the new team member, he honestly had! But he was too angry, furious at himself, at Horatio and at the Universe in general; maybe even a little at Speed himself. His friend was gone and now Eric had lost his chance. What had been making things worse were his feelings for the new guy. He could be incredibly annoying but he had this way about him that had drawn Eric in at the same time it repelled him. He had responded to these feelings by pushing the kid as far away as possible. He was too raw too even open himself up to the possibility of friendship, let alone something more. He still remembered the moment when they had lost all hope of a realationship, when he had officially severed all ties and put the kid in his place and he had used Speed to do it. He hade been riled by the case being brought up, Speed being questioned without a chance to defend himself and he had lashed out at the man who had replaced his friend. Then he had watched Ryan pull away, which made it easier, the jibes and the fighting it all made it easier. The nail gun incident made it hard again, it started to repair what he had broke but by then it was too late Ryan had guarded himself against him and Eric couldn't blame him in the slightest.

They weren't meant for each other. That had become painfully clear but he still wondered what would have happened if he hadn't opened his big fat mouth. What would have happened without the "cleared for takeoff" comment. Would he and Nat still be together? He doubted it, too much betrayal, too much misunderstandings. They wern't meant for each other and they have become friends, but sometimes he wonders when she looks at him with pain in her eyes. Sometimes he wonders if she could have trusted him, if he had trusted her.

The look that she shoot him as she was escorted to the elevator would stay with him for the rest of his life. How could he have not seen it? Why wasn't he there for her? Her gaze contained accusations as much as it pleaded with him. "help me" but he just stood there beside Ryan and watched, because at this point there was nothing that he could do. He thought back to every time they had spoken, every move she had made in an attempt to see it but he couldn't. He never would be able to. He remembered when he and Wolf had pulled that stupid prank, he had made a choice then and he had stuck with it. He had chose to keep away and keep her apart and he wondered if that choice had led to this. As the elevator doors closed he realized that he would never know.

**Author's Note:**

> I know some of the pairings are unpopular and odd but this is how the story hit me. I wrote this almost four years ago and it is unbeted so I would love any comments or corrections. Eric Delko/Calleigh Duquesne is not in here because I didn't have any ideas and at the time there was no 'moment' like the others had


End file.
